As of right now, this trip is very significant for me. I feel like this trip is basically the start of the rest of my life. I want to spend my life travelling, volunteering and working abroad and this will be my first major trip outside of North America. This will be the first trip that I have planned and travelled on without my family, which is a bit nerve-racking but I feel like it pushes me in a good way because I know that if I can accomplish this, I will be able to plan and execute anything! During the trip, I will feel a sense of freedom from the shackles of day to day life and school, even if it is only for a moment. Furthermore, Jessica and I will have some shared experiences and memories that will last a lifetime and ultimately strengthen our friendship but I know this trip will also be about my own personal journey and the struggles and inner reflections that come with that.
I have waited so long to feel this excited and nervous and giddy about something. I have always wanted to get in touch with my roots and meet my grandmother's family in Holland. The amount of sheer joy that I will feel when I finally get to embrace them will be astronomical. Being in Holland where my grandmother grew up will really ground me and I will feel so connected to my family even while being so far away. At the same time, being in the place where my grandmother and her family had to flee from war and persecution will make me feel other things too. Sadness, awareness, possibly even anger towards the unfairness and cruelty of human beings and life itself. Being in the Netherlands will put me through an emotional roller coaster but I am certain that this tiny little country will transform from being just another space to being a place that I feel a deep connection to, even if I'm only there for a week.
The emotions I will feel in Nice will be along the same lines as some of those in the Netherlands. It will be amazing to spend time in a city where my parents were together over 30 years ago. I know I will have feelings of warmth, love, family and home, which I will need after being on another continent and away from my loved ones for 3 weeks.
Meeting some of my godmother's relatives in Budapest will be incredible. It will make me feel like I am safe no matter where I go and also how small the world really is and how connected we all are within it. Staying with my family in Italy will make me feel the same things. The fact that they are letting us stay with them on their vacation to the beautiful and romantic Amalfi Coast makes me appreciate them even more and appreciate just how generous my family really is. I will be feeling loved and so lucky to have such a great family and family networks.
Finally, this trip will be a journey of self discovery for me. I will be testing myself and pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone in every country we go to. I inherited some of my father's A-type personality so relaxing, wandering and not having a set schedule will be a struggle for me, but I really want to try. I want to get lost in the culture of the cities and roam around for hours with the locals. I want to be able to let all my troubles go and just live in the moment while I am there. I will never be in those moments again ever in my life so I hope that I can fully enjoy them and appreciate every amazing experience I will have during those 6 weeks in Europe, but only time will tell.
